How to Include Your Family in Your Adoption Plan
Most birth mothers who are going through, or who have already been through, the adoption process agree that one of its most unnerving steps is deciding whether or not to include their family in their adoption plan. Including their family is a must for some birth mothers, but others aren’t as certain of doing so. If you’re interested in including your family in your adoption plan, but are still weighing the pros and cons, Adoption Choices of Florida is here to help! Below, we’ve listed four ways for you to get your family involved in your adoption plan and journey. Remember, you aren’t required to include your family in your adoption journey, but doing so is a great way to start building up a strong, reliable support system outside of your adoption agency and adoption team!
Involving Your Family in Your Adoption Plan
Choose a Member of Your Family to Tell First
By no means do you have to inform your entire family of your unplanned pregnancy or adoption plan. But if you do, start by choosing one member or your family and telling them first. If you’re finding it difficult to avoid telling the other members of your family, don’t worry! That feeling is totally normal! Remind yourself that you will eventually talk to the rest of your family, but that starting with one family member is a good jumping off point.
Remember that nervous, uncertain feeling you got when you first found out about your pregnancy? You more than likely won’t want the entirety of your family to experience that feeling at the same time! Not only will that be overwhelming for them, but for you as well. Remember, during pregnancy, it’s best to avoid excessive amounts of stress, as it can take a major toll on the health of both you and your child. It’s best to start small and work your way up when it comes to telling your family about your adoption plan!
Give Your Family the Facts and Ask for Their Opinion or Advice
Just like telling your entire family about your adoption plan, you don’t necessarily have to ask your family for their opinions or their advice on what to do regarding your adoption plan/unplanned pregnancy. But if you do choose to include them, start by giving them the facts. Tell them what you’ve learned about the adoption process and why you think placing your child for adoption is the right choice for you. This will help them to understand your decision and encourage them to support you throughout your adoption journey. Keep in mind, though you may not ask for or want advice from your family, they’re probably going to give it. Like you, they just want what’s in the best interest of both you and your child!
Let Your Family Ask Questions and Answer Them to the Best of Your Knowledge
Your family will more than likely have a lot of questions for you if you choose to tell them about your adoption plan. Chances are, you’re still learning a lot about the adoption process yourself, but let your family ask their questions and do your best to answer them to the best of your knowledge. If you’re new to the world of adoption, there’s a lot to learn, so try not to overwhelm yourself. If it helps, you and your family could gather information about the adoption process together and learn as a team. In fact, Adoption Choices of Florida encourages you to learn about the adoption process with your family by your side. The more your family knows about the adoption process, the more likely they’re going to be to understand your decision and support you throughout your adoption journey.
Communicate Openly and Honestly with Your Family
Above all, it’s important for you to communicate openly and honestly with your family if you decide to include them in your adoption plan. Again, talk to them about why you think that placing your child for adoption is the best choice for both you and your child. In fact -- if you’re comfortable -- talk to them about everything! The more you express your emotions, the better you're going to feel. You might also find that talking through your feelings increases your confidence in your adoption decision, which is an extremely important part of a successful adoption journey.
Remember… This is Your Adoption Journey!
Allowing your family to join you on your adoption journey is a great way to strengthen your support system, but don’t lose sight of the fact that this journey is yours. Family members often think they know what’s best for you, but when it comes to adoption, it’s up to you to determine what’s in the best interest of both you and your child. Be sure to let your family know that you appreciate their support and their advice, but don’t be afraid to set boundaries with them. Setting boundaries with your family might feel awkward at first, but again, it’s best for you to communicate openly and honestly with them. Remember, the more you communicate with them, the more understanding and supportive they’re likely to be of your adoption decision!
If you are a birth parent considering adoption, and have any questions or concerns about the process, please don’t hesitate to reach out. For more information on adoption, visit us at Adoption Choices of Florida or call us at: 800-985-8108