How to Choose an Adoptive Family as a Florida Birth Mother
Choosing an adoptive family is often seen by birth mothers as one of the most difficult, emotional milestones in her adoption journey. In a way, it solidifies the decision to place her child for adoption. Whether you’re just beginning your adoption journey or reviewing potential adoptive families for your child now, there’s much to consider when it comes to choosing the right adoptive family.
To relieve some of the pressure of selecting an adoptive family, Adoption Choices of Florida has put together a list of the top six questions to consider as you review potential adoptive families for your child.
6 Questions to Ask Yourself that will Help You Choose an Adoptive Family as a Birth Mother
Do the Potential Adoptive Families for Your Child Seem Like Good People?
When it comes time to choose an adoptive family for your child, you should be most concerned with whether or not each of these potential adoptive families are good, decent people. Are they caring and kind? Are they helpful when others are in need? Are they open-minded and non-judgemental?
Things like their career choices, religious beliefs, cultures, and so on are also important to consider when choosing your child’s adoptive parents, but keep in mind that those things aren’t necessarily what makes a person a good and loving parent.
Do You Have Preferences Regarding the Careers of Your Child’s Potential Adoptive Parents?
It’s common for a birth mother to be concerned with the careers and financial stability of her child’s adoptive parents. There’s a pretty good chance you’ll want to know that the adoptive family who’s raising your child is not only financially secure enough to give your child the future he or she deserves, but also that they’re going to be present in your child’s life. A person cannot raise a child properly if they’re constantly absent due to work-related responsibilities. It’s worth mentioning again, though, to not lose sight of the qualities that are most important. Your child’s adoptive parents should -- above all -- be the most loving, caring, and supportive of people.
Do Your Prefer Your Child to be Raised by an Adoptive Family Who Shares Similar Religious Views as You?
It’s also not uncommon for a birth mother to prefer her child’s adoptive family to share the same religious views as her. Similar to the way a person’s racial and/or ethnic background can connect him or her with others of the same or alike background(s) -- which will be discussed further later -- religion connects people. Additionally, it is often an important part of a person’s identity, morals, values, and so on. Some birth mothers view choosing an adoptive family of the same religion or religious views as a way of staying connected with her birth child, even if she chooses not to be involved in her child’s life. Whether you’re religious or not, including your preferences regarding the religious views -- or lack thereof -- of your child’s adoptive family is important to include in your child’s adoption plan.
Does the Race, Ethnicity, and/or Culture of Your Child’s Adoptive Parents Matter to You?
Like with religious beliefs, sometimes it’s important to a birth mother for her child to be raised by an adoptive family of the same or similar racial and/or ethnic background(s). A person’s racial, ethnic, and cultural background(s) often plays a major role in their identity -- and connecting with their true identity is often so important for adoptees -- so it’s normal for a birth mother placing her child for adoption to want her child to be raised by an adoptive family who can help her child stay in touch with their racial, ethnic, and cultural background(s).
Does the Sexuality of Your Child’s Adoptive Parents Matter to You?
Though the United States has come a long way in the acceptance of the LGBT community, there are still people out there who believe that children should be raised in a two-parent, heterosexual household. There is no evidence to suggest that children raised by LGBT parents are influenced negatively by the sexuality of their parents, nor that these children are any less successful than children raised by heterosexual parents. However, if you’ve decided to place a child for adoption and are still uncertain of choosing an LGBT couple to be your child’s adoptive parents, then be sure to include that when creating your child’s adoption plan.
Do Your Prefer Your Child to be Raised in a One-Parent Household or a Two-Parent Household?
It might surprise you to learn that there are quite a few single people out there who hope to adopt and raise a child on their own. It can be difficult to raise a child as a single parent, but as society has seen time and time again, single parents often prove to be quite capable of parenting alone. If you’re considering choosing a single adoptive parent for your child, you’ll probably be scrambling to triple check that this person is indeed capable of raising a child on their own, but don’t be too fearful! Again, single parents are often more than capable of caring for their children on their own and if this person has chosen to adopt as a single person, trust that they’re confident in their ability to do so.
The Pressure of Choosing an Adoptive Family
As aforementioned, birth mothers often feel a tremendous amount of pressure around the task of choosing an adoptive family for their child. Hopefully, Adoption Choices of Florida has eliminated some of that pressure by creating this list for you and all of the other birth mothers out there who are considering adoption. If you’re still experiencing nervousness around choosing an adoptive family, that’s totally normal! Like placing your child for adoption, choosing the right adoptive family for your child is another major step in the adoption process. Try not to let the weight of this next big decision crush you -- you can do this! Also, don’t be afraid to talk to your adoption team or other members of your support system about how you’re feeling and what you’re thinking. It’s OK to ask others for their opinions and take a little extra time to make your decision.
If you are a birth parent considering adoption, and have any questions or concerns about the process, please don’t hesitate to reach out. For more information on adoption, visit us at Adoption Choices of Florida or call us at: 800-985-8108