5 Positive Emotions You May Experience After Placing Your Baby for Adoption
Placing a baby for adoption can bring about a rush of emotions for birth mothers experiencing an unplanned pregnancy. At first, a lot of these emotions are negative -- guilt, shame, embarrassment, uncertainty, and so on. In the world of adoption, focusing on these negative emotions has become the norm. To a certain extent, it’s important to discuss and understand these emotions, so birth mothers experiencing an unplanned pregnancy can learn to cope with these feelings throughout her adoption journey. However, it’s just as important to emphasize the positive feelings that birth mothers often have after placing a baby for adoption. Below, Adoption Choices of Florida lists and discusses five positive emotions birth mothers can experience after placing a baby for adoption.
5 Positive (and Common!) Emotions to Feel After Placing Your Baby for Adoption
Stress (The Good Kind!)
Surprising as it may be, not all stress is bad! Sometimes, stress propels you to get important things done -- if you choose to be a part of your baby’s adoption process, you have a long road ahead of you. Being actively involved in your baby’s adoption process means you’ll have a lot of important things to do and a lot of big decisions to make. But don’t worry, you won’t have to take the adoption journey alone! An essential part of your successful adoption journey is choosing an agency, a team of experts, and a support system outside of your agency to help and support you.
Having as much support as possible throughout your adoption journey is critical because you simply cannot do it all on your own -- doing so would be TOO much stress! Adoption agencies and professionals exist for a reason, and most truly do want to help you. It goes without saying that experiencing stress throughout the adoption process is inevitable, but keep in mind that your team of adoption experts will be able to help you map out every step of your journey. With a good, solid team by your side, your stress levels should be manageable, which will make it all the easier for you to make big decisions regarding your baby’s future and complete adoption-related tasks.
Once a birth mother has weighed all of her options -- which is highly recommended -- and has decided upon adoption, she often experiences an overwhelming sense of relief. In a way, you might feel like you’ve finally got a bit of direction compared to where you started, which for most birth mothers is usually uncertain, lost, or even hopeless. The feeling of relief often gets stronger the further along you get in the process, especially once you begin creating their baby’s adoption plan and start forming a strong system of support. Remember, a good support system should consist of a great adoption agency and adoption team, trusted family members, close friends, your baby’s adoptive parents, and any other members of your social circle who you’d like to include!
If you’ve got a great adoption team and support system of family, friends, and other members of your social circle behind you, you’ll probably experience a great deal of gratitude toward those people once you’ve placed your baby for adoption. You know the phrase, “it takes a village to raise a child”? Well, it also takes a village to help you place your baby for adoption -- the adoption journey is not one that it meant to be taken alone!
It’s also worth mentioning that most birth mothers experiencing unplanned pregnancy are simply grateful for the existence of adoption. Without adoption, a birth mother experiencing an unplanned pregnancy would, essentially, have to raise her baby or perhaps choose an alternate option that may not necessarily be the right choice for her and her baby, be in the best interest of her and her baby, nor be safe for her and her baby. Additionally, adoption is a popular option for individuals or couples who cannot conceive naturally or do not wish to conceive naturally, which, sadly, would deprive them of joys of parenthood.
Placing a baby for adoption is certainly a bittersweet decision! On one hand, deciding whether or not to place a baby for adoption is an extremely difficult choice to make. Additionally, the adoption process has its fair share of emotional ups and downs, which can be exhausting for an already-stressed birth mother. But, on the other hand, placing a baby for adoption can also bring you a lot of happiness. Perhaps once your baby’s adoption is finalized, you have big plans for your career, for continuing your education, or for something else!
Birth mothers who choose to be a part of their baby’s adoption process are also said to be happier than birth mothers who choose not to because they’re able to secure their baby’s future and ensure their happiness with the right adoptive family. Knowing your baby is going to be safe and loved will help increase your confidence in your adoption, which will make it easier for you to move on and move forward in life. You’ll certainly be happier living in the present rather than in the past and wondering whether or not placing your baby for adoption was the right decision!
Contrary to what many people may think, no birth mother places her baby for adoption because she doesn’t love her baby -- she does it because she does love her baby! For most birth mothers who choose adoption, their reasoning behind their decision often has to do with their readiness -- or lack thereof -- to be a parent, their financial situation, or their career and continuing education aspirations.
There are a variety of other reasons a birth mother might choose adoption, but regardless of what those reasons are, a birth mother who chooses adoption usually recognizes that though she may not be ready to be a parent, there are people out there who are ready. Though a birth mother may love her baby very much, she knows her baby deserves a life and a future that is more than what she can give. There’s so much love that goes into a birth mother’s decision to place her baby for adoption, so it’s extremely common to feel a wealth of love once you’ve placed your child for adoption.
Dealing with Those Inevitable, Negative Adoption Emotions
For every positive emotion a birth mother experiences after placing her baby for adoption, there’s a negative one that follows. Again, the adoption process is quite an emotional rollercoaster -- it's got quite a few ups and downs! Though it’s going to be a challenge -- especially at first -- you cannot let those negative emotions get in the way of you doing what’s best for your baby and for yourself. Just as important is not letting the feelings and opinions of others get in your way!
To help guide you through your emotions -- both the positive and the negative -- Adoption Choices of Florida highly recommends seeking out our agency’s emotional support services for help. For more information on our emotional support services, please visit our blog on counseling and emotional support for birth mothers in Florida.
If you are a birth parent considering adoption, and have any questions or concerns about the process, please don’t hesitate to reach out. For more information on adoption, visit us at Adoption Choices of Florida or call us at: 800-985-8108