One of the most difficult things a birth mother may have to do throughout the adoption process -- depending upon which type of adoption she chooses -- is choose her child’s adoptive parents. There’s no shortage of families in the United States who want to adopt, which can make it very difficult for a birth mother to choose just the right adoptive family for her child.
To help you narrow down your search, consider the possibility of having an same-sex couple adopt your child. Every adoption case is different, but LGBT adoption is special in that it helps same-sex couples and individuals grow their families, as they cannot conceive naturally. There is certainly a large percentage of heterosexual couples and individuals who choose adoption because they cannot conceive on their own, and, though their struggles with infertility should not be invalidated, they are still at a greater advantage than same-sex couples because they are more likely to be chosen as adoptive parents.
Becoming a parent is a true honor and one of life’s greatest privileges. To be able to bestow that honor upon an LGBT person or same-sex couple or individual who cannot conceive naturally is a true miracle. To help you make your decision, Adoption Choices of Florida has put together a list of the pros and cons of same-sex and LGBT adoption, so you can decide what’s best for you, and, more importantly, what’s best for your child!
Pros and Cons of Same-Sex and LGBT Adoption
1) Open-Mindedness, Acceptance and Diversity
Same-sex and LGBT adoptive parents are much more likely than heterosexual parents to raise your child to be bright, open-minded individuals and to teach them the importance of acceptance and diversity. Heterosexual parents can certainly teach their children to be open-minded and accepting of others’ differences; however, having faced oppression and discrimination their entire lives, LGBT adoptive parents can bring their own unique perspective and teach your child about being open-minded and accepting varying viewpoints, belief systems and cultures.
2) Kindness and Resiliency
For as hard as our society has been on same-sex couples and folks within the LGBT community, LGBT adoptive parents have proven themselves to be amazingly resilient in the face of adversity. Not to mention, remarkably kind and welcoming to others who face similar discrimination. Both kindness and resiliency are excellent qualities to bring into parenthood, and finding a balance between the two is a must!
Being a parent isn’t for the faint of heart and is certainly something that will push a person to their physical, mental and emotional limits. This is where resiliency becomes a wonderful quality to have. On the other hand, a good parent must also raise his or her child with kindness and patience, and hopefully teach the importance of these qualities. Kindness is, now more than ever, an essential lesson for children!
3) A Loving Home
If you want your child to gain a more accepting and loving perspective about the world, why not choose a same-sex couple or member of the LGBT community to raise him or her? Keep in mind that it was only five years ago that same-sex marriage was legalized and prior to that, the LGBT community spent years fighting for that right. So, if there’s anyone who understands the importance of love, it’s the LGBT community!
For many LGBT folks, it’s extremely important to them to be especially loving toward and supportive of their children because, unfortunately, many of them struggle with feeling unloved or unsupported by their own parents. Feeling unloved or unaccepted by their own parents often propels same-sex couples and LGBT folks to be better parents to their children than their parents were to them. No child is unloved and no child should feel unloved, especially by their own family!
Again, always remember that an individual’s sexuality has no impact whatsoever on his or her ability to raise a child. What makes a good parent is their ability to give their child unconditional love and care, and to support them no matter who they become or what path they choose in life. Same-sex couples and LGBT folks are just as capable as anyone else of providing these essentials to a child!
1) Prejudice and Judgement
As much progress as the United States has made in terms of accepting the LGBT community, there’s still a long way to go. A lot of people out there still hold tight to their prejudices and make snap judgements, so if you choose an LGBT person or couple to adopt your child, know that these things are inevitable and can often take a major mental and emotional toll.
2) Oppression and Discrimination
Again, our society has made a great deal of progress in terms of accepting the LGBT community, but there’s still much work to be done in terms of fair and equal treatment and opportunities. In addition to facing the unkind prejudices and quick judgements of others, your child and his or her adoptive family will also be confronted with unequal treatment, like oppression and discrimination, almost everywhere they go. These, like prejudices, can take a dangerous toll on both the mental and emotional health of your child and on his or her adoptive family!
Focus on the Positive and Don’t Dwell on the Negative!
As challenging as it may be for you to accept that fact that your child may be confronted with judgement and discrimination from others, don’t let it deter you from choosing an LGBT adoptive parent to raise your child. LGBT folks and same-sex couples make great parents. Each and every one of the positives listed above are deeply rooted in love, which will always win no matter what comes its way!
For the members of the LGBT community hesitant to adopt because of discrimination, Adoption Choices of Florida understands your fear, but again, don’t be deterred! You will make a great adoptive parent to a wonderfully lucky child and, though you’ll most certainly be confronted with judgement and negativity from others, you know better than anyone how to properly respond to these kinds of situations. Take every instance of prejudice and discrimination as an opportunity to educate others and to show them that love has no bounds!
If you are a birth parent considering adoption, and have any questions or concerns about the process, please don’t hesitate to reach out. For more information on adoption, visit us at Adoption Choices of Florida or call us at: 800-985-8108