7 Qualities for Birth Mothers to Look for in Adoptive Parents
When placing your baby for adoption, there can be many choices of wonderful couples or individuals looking to adopt. You envision your child growing up with good parents, but what exactly makes a good parent? What are the qualities that you’d like your child’s adoptive parents to have?
There can be many traits and characteristics that you want your child’s adoptive parents to have that may be just a matter of preference, such as a great sense of humor, a certain profession or religion, or a higher income. However, what are several aspects that all adoptive parents should have across the board?
Adoption Choices of Florida has your answer! We’ve discovered seven qualities to look in adoptive parents that we think are very important to consider when you are selecting the family your child will grow up in.
1. Patience – one of the most important qualities to have as a parent is patience. This is especially relevant towards adoptive parents after they go through the adoption process, due to it taking more time for your child to get acquainted with them. It may not be easy for the child to get accustomed to their adoptive parents, as well as the new environment; but, having this wonderful virtue can make a huge difference. When he or she is an infant, your child can appear so cute and innocent -- but they will still need a lot of love, care and support. They don’t know how to communicate their thoughts except through tears. Patient adoptive parents will calmly figure out what your baby needs and love them through the good and bad times.
2. Empathy – another important quality is the ability to understand or empathize with your child. Children may not go through the same issues adults do, but these issues -- like falling down on the ground, or getting picked on at school -- are very real to them. Therefore, they need someone to understand them and guide them in the right direction. Having empathy can also help with being patient with the child.
3. Teachable – parents have to be ready to learn more and have an open mind when it comes to educating and raising your child. As it’s been widely said: “children don’t come with instruction manuals,” so parents have to be open to new and improved ways to help your child with whichever stage they are going through, or whatever issue they’re tackling. Whether it’s their terrible twos or adolescence, knowing that you don’t know everything and seeking help from parenting books, friends or family is a great way to learn how to be a successful parent.
4. Supportive – as a parent, it’s important to support your child’s passions, such as painting or playing the guitar. It’s also important that the adoptive parents get involved in your child’s education, whether in school or outside of school. Your child will need as much support they can get, so if the adoptive parent(s) have a great support system, that’s a plus.
5. Committed – a very necessary quality in an adoptive parent is commitment. After the lengthy home studies adoption agencies conduct, adoptive parents should be able to recognize the amount of effort it is to raise a child, and the commitment it represents. Being financially stable, having a safe environment, and having a good support system are some signs that show commitment and dedication in adoptive parents.
6. Good Communicator – with good communication, your child’s adoptive parents should be able to effectively communicate with him or her, using a language they understand, as well as being able to truly listen and make them feel important in the family dynamic.
7. Responsible – a good candidate for an adoptive parent should have or be ready to develop the ability to teach your child right from wrong. Raising kids means being able to establish limits, so that your child can grow up and be a functioning member of society. You want your child’s adoptive parents to have a loving bond with him or her, but that’s not all it takes to raise them. This means being able to say no, even though your child might cry and throw a tantrum. It is necessary to commit to a parenting philosophy and stick to it, as this will help your child develop into the healthy, independent and responsible adult they are meant to be.
How do I know if the prospective adoptive parents possess these qualities?
Other than being able to see the adoptive parent’s profiles collected by the adoption agency, as a birth mother, you can spend time with the adoptive parent(s) who draw your attention. When talking to them, you can get a sense of whether they possess the above mentioned qualities, as well as any other preferential qualities you might have in mind. If you’ve already had your baby, you can observe how the prospective adoptive parent(s) interact with him or her. Only you decide if your child has found the best parent he or she could have.
Choosing the right adoptive parent(s) for your child can be overwhelming, but know that Adoption Choices of Florida will help you go through this process by not just providing the profiles of the prospective adoptive parents, but also through counseling and financial assistance during your pregnancy. We hope that this list has helped inspire you on how to make the right choice when picking the adoptive parents for your baby.
If you are a birth parent considering adoption, and have any questions or concerns about the process, please don’t hesitate to reach out. For more information on adoption, visit us at Adoption Choices of Florida or call us at: 800-985-8108