Open Adoption with Lesbian Adoptive Parents
Deciding who will adopt your child is one of the biggest decisions you’ll ever make in your lifetime, and will be one that you look back on as an incredible, life-changing experience. As you move through the adoption process, you’ll find that you have quite a few other important decisions to make, including determining which type of adoption -- open, semi-open, or closed -- is the best fit for you and your baby.
If you’ve already settled on open adoption, then you’ve made an excellent decision! Open adoption is unique in that it allows for open communication between the adoption triad, which is made up of the child, the birth parent(s) and the adoptive parent(s). Every open adoption case is different, of course, but if you’re wanting to choose a lesbian adoptive individual or couple to raise your child, you may be wondering if and how the open adoption process varies for you compared to heterosexual adoptive parents or any other type of adoptive family.
The truth is, open adoption with lesbian adoptive parents looks no different than open adoption with another type of adoptive family. Rather than concerning herself with the sexuality of her child’s potential adoptive parents, you can have the freedom to focus on who’s going to provide your child with love, care, support and resources needed to secure his or her happiness, health and successful future.
Open Adoption with Lesbian Adoptive Parents
Making Certain that Open Adoption is, in fact, what you want!
Adoption is a huge commitment, which, at this point, is something you should already understand. Rather than assuming you know the differences between each of the three types of adoption, make an effort to explore and truly understand the differences between each type. Open, semi-open, and closed adoption each have its own unique advantages and disadvantages, so prioritize taking the time to weigh the pros and cons before selecting which type of adoption is right for you and your child!
Open Communication between You, Your Child and their Adoptive Parents
The key to a successful open adoption is communication. Throughout the adoption process, both you and your child’s adoptive parents must be honest about what you want and about your expectations. As you communicate, do so with your child’s best interest in mind.
Adoption experts agree that open adoption is the most beneficial of the three types because of its emphasis on communication. Adoptees in open adoption cases are much less likely to struggle with issues related to their identity when their birth mother or birth family is involved in their life. Also, as your child grows up, his or her communication within the adoption triad should become more prominent. They should have a say in how much communication and involvement they want with their birth family.
Being Each Others’ Support Systems
Every adoption case is different, but if there’s one thing they all have in common, it’s the inevitable high and low points you’ll encounter throughout the adoption process. When you hit these points in the process, it’s extremely important for you to be endlessly supportive and encouraging of each other. Though you play different roles in the process, both you and your child’s adoptive parents are equally important.
You must also remember that this process is not about you as much as it is about the child you now share. Showing your support for each other is an excellent way to build trust and strengthen your relationship, which will be important as your child grows up and you become more involved in each other’s lives.
Educating Yourself, Your Child, the Birth Mother and Maybe Even Others!
As a birth mother, you may be aware that LGBT community members are constantly confronted with the prejudices of narrow-minded, uneducated people. To combat this negativity, never stop educating yourself. By educating yourself, you can help to educate others who may be blind to the beauty with your choice for your child’s adoptive family. As someone who’s faced more than your fair share of judgement from others, your child’s lesbian adoptive parents also have the opportunity to teach him or her the value of kindness, and the importance of accepting and appreciating others and their differences.
Remaining Positive in the Face of Adversity
Again, LGBT adoptive parents are no stranger to judgement and stereotyping from others. You’re also probably well-aware that this negativity doesn't go away overnight. Your child may, unfortunately, experience some instances of this as they grow up. But, no matter where he or she goes, your child’s adoptive parents will be there to support them. To encourage, comfort and teach them the power in knowing and accepting your identity. This will help them stay positive, remember their strength and resilience, and never let the naysayers get the best of them!
Open Adoption IS for You!
Open adoption is, without a doubt, once of the most rewarding, worthwhile decisions for those who choose it. If you are a birth mother wanting to choose lesbian adoptive parents for your child -- this can be your decision, too! But if you’re still concerned and afraid of what might be -- you need not worry. Every adoptive family, like every adoption case, is different! Your child’s adoptive parents will love, care for and support your child because they both know that it’s your heart, not your sexual orientation, that makes an incredible parent!
If you are a birth parent considering adoption, and have any questions or concerns about the process, please don’t hesitate to reach out. For more information on adoption, visit us at Adoption Choices of Florida or call us at: 800-985-8108