Debunking Adoption Myths for Birth Mothers
Throughout the United States, adoption has become much more widely accepted, but unfortunately that still hasn’t stopped certain people from passing judgement and creating myths and stereotypes about the adoption process. Because of these myths and stereotypes, it’s proven extremely difficult for professionals within the field of adoption to reach birth mothers and provide them with truthful, accurate information about the process of placing a child for adoption. To help combat these stereotypes, Adoption Choices of Floridahas created a list of common adoption-related myths for the birth mothers out there who still feel that placing their child for adoption is the right choice.
5 Adoption Myths Debunked!
Adoption Myth #1: You Won’t Get a Say in the Adoption Process
Some birth mothers are hesitant to choose adoption because they’re not sure they’ll get to be a part of the adoption process, so they’re unsure of what will happen to their child. One of the most common adoption-related myths is that birth mothers don’t have a voice in their child’s adoption process. This couldn’t be further from the truth! Birth mothers are, in fact, one of the most important people in the adoption process. Their voice matters more than anyone else’s. That said, birth mothers are not required to be involved in the adoption process -- the decision is entirely up to them!
Adoption Myth #2: Your Child will Grow Up Troubled or Damaged
One of the most ridiculous and unfortunate adoption myths is that adoptees are more likely than biological children to grow up troubled or have issues related to the fact that they were adopted. A large portion of people also believe this of adoptees who grow up in homes with adoptive parents who aren’t married, heterosexual or of the same race, ethnicity, or religion as their adopted child.
Though it’s true that most adoptees -- at one point or another -- will face the fact that they were adopted, this realization doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Actually, it’s becoming more and more common for adoptive parents to be transparent with their child about the fact that they were adopted, which generally results in a much stronger parent-child relationship in the long-run!
Additionally, there’s no proof to suggest that adoptees who are raised in homes with LGBT parents or by parents who are of a different racial and/or cultural background are any more troubled than adoptees who are not. If anything, these children grow up kinder and are much more accepting and open-minded, which are all qualities that this world is in desperate need of!
Adoption Myth #3: Your Child won’t “Fit in” with Their Adoptive Family / Their Adoptive Parents will Love Them “Differently” than They Love Their Biological Children
Birth mothers will often hear from people that their child won’t “fit in” or will be “loved differently” by adoptive parents who already have biological children. This is another one of those unfortunate, ridiculous myths that runs rampant in the world of adoption. If adoption proves one thing, it’s that it isn’t biology that makes a family a family -- it’s unconditional love, care, and unwavering support. Besides, if it was biology that determined a parent’s ability to love their child, there wouldn’t be so many adoptive parents waiting with open arms and hearts to expand their families through the miracle that is adoption!
Adoption Myth #4: Most People Prefer Closed Adoption
Another common misconception about adoption is that most birth mothers and adoptive parents prefer closed adoption to open or semi-open adoption. Closed adoption isn’t necessarily uncommon throughout the United States; however, both open and semi-open adoption have become increasingly popular amongst birth and adoptive parents alike.
As adoption has become more widely accepted, more and more people are choosing open or semi-open adoption because of the fact that both allow for some type of communication between the adoption triad, where closed adoption doesn’t. The adoption triad consists of the child, the birth mother, and the adoptive parents and for those who choose either open or semi-open adoption, communication can include anything from in-person visits to phone calls, text messages, emails, and/or sending letters and photos back and forth.
For birth mothers interested in learning more about their adoption options, please visit Adoption Choices of Florida’s blog on the three types of adoption.
Adoption Myth #5: Choosing Open Adoption Basically Means You’ll be Co-Parenting with the Adoptive Parents
One of the lesser known misconceptions about adoption is the idea that the birth mother will have to co-parent alongside the adoptive parents if they all agree upon an open adoption. This isn’t the slightest bit true, but it’s important to discuss because it’s related to one of the key ingredients needed to making an open adoption successful -- setting boundaries.
In no way shape or form should a birth mother be co-parenting with her child’s adoptive parents once the adoption has been finalized. If the birth mother and the adoptive parents have opted for an open adoption, it’s vital to the success of the adoption for them to communicate healthily and set boundaries with each other, so everyone is clear on what role they play in the child’s life.
Don’t Believe Everything You Read and Hear...
Birth mothers who are considering adoption and have begun gathering information about the process have probably learned by now the importance of doing their own research. It’s a great first step to take for women who have become unexpectedly pregnant and decided they cannot raise their child. But for as great of a resource as the internet is, when it comes to gathering information about the adoption process, information on adoption agency websites can vary. This can make learning about the adoption process very stressful and confusing. So, for the birth mothers out there who have already started their research and stumbled upon a number of adoption myths they aren’t so sure about, it may be time to contact an adoption agency and ask questions.
When considering adoption in Florida, don’t let the overload of information and the myths and stereotypes about adoption deter you from choosing it! Though there are many misconceptions, the truth about adoption is very simple -- it’s got its ups and downs, but choosing it is always worth it the moment you realize that you played a role in ensuring your child is going to be cared for by a loving adoptive family.
If you are a birth parent considering adoption, and have any questions or concerns about the process, please don’t hesitate to reach out. For more information on adoption, visit us at Adoption Choices of Florida or call us at: 800-985-8108