As a birth mother, you’re in charge of hand-picking your child’s adoptive parents. You go through the various profiles of potential families. You will have the opportunity to get to know them on paper and in person.
If there is an option to meet prospective adoptive parents before placement, you should come prepared with questions. You are interviewing them, after all. The goal is to find a family you feel comfortable around and who is the best fit for your baby. So, how do you go about discovering this?
Adoption Choices of Florida is here to help you do just that! We created a list of beneficial questions to ask adoptive parents.
Questions to Ask Adoptive Parents
There are plenty of questions to ask adoptive parents. More than enough, in all honesty. That said, we broke each one down and separated them by category. Because everyone’s adoption journey is unique, not every question will apply to you. However, we feel that these provide a great resource and way to get you started. Don’t feel pressured to ask every question. Instead, concentrate on the ones that relate to your wants and requirements for your child’s future family. Feel free to ask as many or as few questions as you feel comfortable with.
- Can you tell me about yourself?
- What do you do for a living?
- Do you enjoy your work?
- What are some of your hobbies?
- What is your relationship like with your significant other?
- What is your typical week like?
- Why do you want to adopt?
- What do you believe makes a good parent?
- Are you familiar with adoption?
- Have you adopted before, or know of anyone who has previously adopted?
- Will my baby have any brothers or sisters? Cousins?
- What are your parents and siblings like?
- Is your family supportive of your decision to adopt?
- Are you supportive of open adoption?
- What is your neighborhood/town like?
- Do you get parental leave after a placement? What will child care be like if you go back to work?
- How will you explain and talk about adoption to your child?
Practical & Family Questions
- What is your health like?
- How do you feel about vaccines?
- If my baby has special needs, how will you react?
- Do you have any chronic illnesses in your family?
- How will your family be involved in your child’s life?
- Do you have a good pediatrician lined up?
Bonus Questions/Fun Questions
- What does a typical day look like for you?
- What kind of things do you, as a family, do for fun?
- Do you have pets?
- Where do you see your family in the next five years? Do you want more kids or just the one(s) you have now?
- What kind of music do you like?
- Will you love my baby unconditionally?
- What kind of relationship are you interested in having with me after the adoption is finalized?
Questions to Avoid
Of course, there are things that are best left between your caseworker and the adoptive parents. One of the topics that shouldn’t be brought up during the interview is how they can help you with housing, medical bills, and other things of that nature. Leave getting that information to your caseworker! Asking these questions could make everyone involved a little uncomfortable, and your goal during this interview is to get to know your child’s potential adoptive parents in the best way possible.
Another topic to avoid is infertility. If the adoptive parents want to share that with you, they will. Infertility is an emotional and unfortunate aspect of life to process, so it’s best left to your caseworker to learn of the adoptive parents’ reasoning behind adoption. The same goes for women who have had miscarriages. Their journey is one they may share later, so let them share it at their own pace. In the same respect, they shouldn’t be asking you why you decided to place your child for adoption.
Each interview will most likely feel awkward and a little tense. Don’t worry! It’s perfectly normal to feel that way. As awkward as you feel, the prospective adoptive parents do, too. Just remember that these interviews are a vital part of the adoption process. In the end, your main goal is to find you and your baby’s perfect match.
Questions to Ask Adoptive Parents
Remember during all of this that it’s important to go into each interview with an open mind. Also, don’t forget to take a deep breath. Before you meet the potential adoptive parents, give your arms a good shake to alleviate nerves. After that, remind yourself that they’re probably just as nervous as you are.
There are plenty of topics to cover during your first meeting with the potential adoptive parents. Cover what you feel is most important to you. It doesn’t have to be on the list, as that’s just a suggestion. Do what makes sense to you and feels right. That’s how you’ll find the perfect family for you and your baby.
Adoption Choices of Florida
Adoption Choices of Florida is a private adoption agency licensed by the state of Florida and we are a leader in the adoption community. Our staff has a genuine commitment to providing an empathetic, empowering, and progressive experience to all involved in the adoption process.