7 Reasons Birth Fathers Choose Adoption
When it comes to raising a child, whether planned or unplanned, pregnancy represents a huge change. One that, sometimes, we’re not ready for due to a variety of different reasons. With commitments, timing is everything and this decision traditionally comes down to two people.
In this blog post, we will be focusing on the reasons birth fathers choose adoption.
Reasons Birth Fathers Choose Adoption
1. Too Young
Usually, when the pregnancy is unplanned, a very common reason to give a baby up for adoption is that the birth father is too young. We hear this explanation all the time. However, what does it really mean to be “too young” to raise a baby? What are some factors that make men unable to parent?
Well, a skill men should be able to have is lots and lots of patience. It can be especially frustrating raising a child who won’t stop crying, is tough to feed and won’t let you sleep at night. We all need to go through different trials and tribulations in our own lives to develop these skills and be ready to be a parent, so if you don’t have these skills yet -- that’s ok!
2. Wants a Better Environment for the Child
A birth mother who becomes pregnant may come to the realization that she doesn’t have the best environment for the child to grow up in birth fathers are no exception. If he doesn’t feel like he has a safe or healthy house for the child to grow up in, he will choose adoption.
Realizing that you want a better environment for your child isn’t an easy decision, but it’s an important revelation to come to. Perhaps the birth father didn’t have a good relationship with his parents, and fears what kind of parent he will become. Maybe he isn’t with the birth mother anymore and doesn’t want to be a single parent. Whatever the reason or motivation may be, it’s important that he is putting the needs of his child above his own and wanting him or her to have a better life.
3. Not Ready Financially
We live in a time where cost of living is growing higher and salaries vary greatly. If a birth father does not have a steady or stable source of income, he may admit that he is not financially ready to raise a child. Whether he lost his job due to a global pandemic or another reason, he may feel uncertain about his own future and realize that he can provide for his child the way he wants. Thus, adoption is an option.
4. Special Needs or Already has Children
As sad as it may seem, another reason birth fathers might choose adoption for their child is if he or she has special needs. A child born with a disability of any kind comes with the need for specific attention and extra care. This may not be something the birth father is willing to do or thinks he can handle.
On the flip side, he may already have children and not be able to afford another. An extra mouth to feed or a child with special needs can create a heavier financial burden and emotional responsibility.
5. Unexpected Life Changes
Things can happen during pregnancy, and even before pregnancy, that may influence the birth father’s decision to keep the baby. He might be going through certain hardships that might make him incapable of raising a baby at that point in time. Such events can include, but are not limited to:
The death of a loved one
An accident of some kind
Having a child requires parents to be in the right mentality, and sometimes life takes a different turn that we did not expect, making this impossible.
6. Doesn’t Want a Family
Some birth fathers choose adoption because they don’t want a family. They don’t want to be a parent. This is completely ok. Perhaps he is too focused on his career or wants to graduate college. Maybe has plans to travel the world. Raising a child would, undoubtedly, complicate that or put a damper on it.
If the birth father doesn’t want a family, adoption is a wonderful option for him to choose.
7. Their Career has Not Taken Off
Even though we are witnessing a shift in gender roles, many men like to be the providers for their family. However, they want to make sure that they are in a good place to do so. This doesn’t mean only financially, but also physically, emotionally and mentally. They want to feel for the unexpected.
If a birth father is thinking about going to medical school, or in the middle of his residency, raising a child on top of this workload can be quite challenging. Perhaps he wants to have a baby after he has a few years of experience as a doctor under his belt. This is smart planning, as he is making sure he can provide for his family and have a steady job before growing his family
Reasons Birth Fathers Choose Adoption
Each and every birth father is unique. No two adoption journeys will be the same. But, we want all birth fathers to know that they are welcome with us. If a birth father chooses to place a baby for adoption with our agency, he will receive nothing but respect and compassion. He will also have the option of using our free counseling services if he would like. We are a nonjudgmental office and work with birth parents from all walks of life. The most important thing to remember is that, at the end of the day, why you choose to place your child for adoption is up to you. We will be here to support you every step of the way.
If you are a birth parent considering adoption, and have any questions or concerns about the process, please don’t hesitate to reach out. For more information on adoption, visit us at Adoption Choices of Florida or call us at: 800-985-8108
Meet the Author: Juliette Acosta-Santiago is a recent graduate from Florida International University, born and raised in Puerto Rico. Acosta-Santiago decided to pursue writing and editing as her career, and knows that an internship at Adoption Choices is a fantastic way to get her started. She achieved a Bachelor’s in Translation Studies, and a Master’s in Linguistics.
Acosta-Santiago enjoys learning languages like Korean and Mandarin, as well as learning more about Linguistics by reading current books on the subject and research papers.