Top 5 Holiday Traditions to Start this Year as a Birth Mother
Everyone has some sort of tradition they do for the holidays they celebrate. As a birth mother, it is a great idea to create some of your own traditions to help cope with the holidays. This may be difficult, though, as what you grew up with may vary from how you would celebrate now. But that is okay. There are many examples of holidays and what you can do to create your own style in the way you want them to play out.
To help you get started, here are five holiday traditions to start this year as a birth mother.
1. Giving Your Child and Adoptive Family a Gift
Even though you may not always be there to see them grow up every second of the day, picking out a special gift for your child may be very important to you. So, choosing a keepsake or something you know the adoptive parents need is a great place to start. Some ideas could include, but are not limited: stuffed animals, pretty rocks or shells, or an empty photo album for future memories. If you have a group picture of you all from the hospital, this would also be a very meaningful gift.
Remember that this is no price tag on what gift you give. It can be something small and sentimental, or simple like a holiday card with news about how you’re doing. Anything you give will express how much you appreciate and love your new extended family.
2. Planning a Holiday Meal Together
Most families have a big holiday dinner or lunch or some kind of gathering to bring everyone close together. In a way, you as the birth mother, can do the same with your adoptive family and yourself. Talking with them and picking out a day and time that would work best with each holiday would be an awesome idea. This way you get to see them, and be part of their life. Not only will this give you more opportunities to get to know them, but it will also help build the bond between you and the adoptive parents, and let your child know that they are still loved and cared for.
3. Scheduling a Video Chat
With technology advancing quickly, video chat is a great way to stay connected, even if you can’t meet in person with each other. You can still see your child and the adoptive parents via Skype, ZOOM or FaceTime and having the opportunity to stay connected. Maintaining contact -- especially in an open or semi-open adoption -- is such a gift because, only a few short years ago, this wasn’t an option. Now when the holidays roll around, you don’t have the chance to celebrate together.
Using technology will greatly help you connect and feel as though you are not alone during the holidays.
4. Putting Together a Memory Book
As a birth mother, you may not be present when your child takes his or her first steps or experiences their first soft food. However, you can always ask for the pictures and/or short video clips of any firsts or big moments that happen. These, then, you can compile into a photo album or memory book to commemorate the milestones in your birth child’s life.
Having physical copies of the pictures helps create a memory more positive and lasting then just on a camera or phone. While being in the digital age is great, things often break down or get lost, and then all those photos are gone too. It is also good to have them printed so you can hang them up wherever you want to display them. Seeing them everyday can help remind you of the great and amazing choice you made of providing your child with new parents.
5. Treating Yourself
While the holidays are often a time of excitement and celebration with friends and family, it’s important to remember to take time for yourself. Certain holidays may be more emotional for you than others, especially if you’ve placed your baby for adoption recently. So, instead of focusing all of your energy on others, think of yourself and have some alone time.
Self-care is just as important as caring for other people, and learning to take care of yourself is healthy for both your mind and body. This can be anything from a relaxing bath at home, a day getting nails or hair done, taking a nice walk, or any other things that might make you feel calm and relaxed. It is important to everyone that you take care of yourself too, and it isn’t selfish to take time just for you either. It is well needed and it can help relieve the stress of holidays.
Holiday Traditions to Start as a Birth Mother
Take in these top five holiday traditions and consider making these your own as the new adoptive parents take in your child as theirs. Both you and the adoptive parents are starting new, which can be scary and confusing trying to figure out. That’s why creating your own way through the holidays will help make it less confusing and a little more enjoyable.
Enjoy the time you have with and without your child and make life worth living -- and not just around the holidays, but all year long too. While these tips might apply more effectively during the holidays, you can also use them daily and learn to love yourself and the choices you have made for your child.
If you are a birth parent considering adoption, and have any questions or concerns about the process, please don’t hesitate to reach out. For more information on adoption, visit us at Adoption Choices of Florida or call us at: 800-985-8108