First Christmas in an Open Adoption as Birth Mother
For birth mothers who are going through the adoption process in Florida or who have already been through it, the holiday season can be a very difficult and emotional time. Most birth mothers, no matter which type of adoption they’ve opted for, require some level of support to help them get through the holidays. But for those who have opted for an open adoption, navigating the holidays can be especially difficult. Are you allowed to spend the holidays with your child and their adoptive family? Do you want to spend time with these people during the holidays? Do they want you to spend time with them during the holidays?
In an open adoption, these are all important things to discuss with your child’s adoptive family, but if you haven’t and are still openly communicating with them, now is the time to have these important conversations. Again, the holiday season -- and particularly Christmastime -- can be a very difficult time for birth mothers, especially if you’re planning on going through it alone. So, if you have an open adoption and a positive relationship with your child’s adoptive family, start a conversation about the holidays. Figure out what you’re going to do and how you’re going to get through it. Chances are, your child’s adoptive family is going to be more than happy to welcome you into their home for your first Christmas in an open adoption!
Birth Mother’s First Christmas in an Open Adoption: How Do I Get Through It? Here are Three Ways!
Self-Care and Taking Time for Yourself
Even if you are spending the holidays with your child and their adoptive family, it’s important for you to indulge in a little self-care and take some time for yourself. Treat yourself to something nice, whether it’s a morning at the spa, an afternoon walk in the park, or something else! You may also find it helpful, as so many other birth mothers have, to write down your thoughts and feelings in a journal. With so much already going on during the holiday season, your brain is probably going a million miles an hour. Journaling is often an excellent way to clear your head and understand what you’re feeling and why.
Spend Time with Your Child and Their Adoptive Family, but if You can’t, Do Something to Honor the Adoption Process
This option isn’t necessarily available to every birth mother, even the ones who’ve opted for an open adoption -- it all depends on the boundaries you and the adoptive family have set with each other. But if it’s possible, spending time with your child and their adoptive family is a great way to help you get through this holiday season. If you’ve been struggling with your emotions, having a conversation with your child and their adoptive family may help you clear the air and understand these feelings a little bit better.
Meeting in person isn’t for every birth mother or adoptive family, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still communicate with each other during the holidays. Give thanks to technology this holiday season, because even if you aren't spending Christmas with your child and their adoptive family this year, you still have the option to exchange letters and photos, phone calls, text messages, or emails with each other. You could also honor the adoption process by donating to an adoption agency or charity of your choice, or volunteering in your community in honor of your child and their adoptive family!
Connect with Members of Your Support System
During the holiday season, it’s extremely important for you to stay in touch with the members of your support system, like relatives and close friends. For some birth mothers, it’s easy to start distancing yourself from the people who are such a critical part of your support system during the holidays. As difficult as it may be for you to express your emotions and ask for help, if you’ve got a good support system, your family and friends should be more than willing to listen to your struggles and support you, so you don’t have to go through this difficult time of year alone.
The First One is Always the Toughest!
A reality for some birth mothers is that the holidays -- Christmas in particular -- are always a tough time of year. Do the holidays get better each year? It all depends on the birth mother! If you’ve got a positive relationship with your child and their adoptive family, as well as a strong support system of family and friends, the holidays will get easier. Normally though, it’s that first year during or after the adoption process that’s the toughest for birth mothers. And unfortunately, not all birth mothers have close relationships with their family and friends, nor with their child’s adoptive family. For those birth mothers, Adoption Choices of Florida encourages you to reach out to your adoption agency for support. Guidance from your adoption agency doesn’t end the moment your child’s adoption is finalized because your adoption journey never really ends.
If you’re in need of support during this holiday season, don’t hesitate to reach out. For more information on your support options for this upcoming holiday season, please visit Adoption Choices of Florida’s blog on finding support for birth mothers during the holidays.
If you are a birth parent considering adoption, and have any questions or concerns about the process, please don’t hesitate to reach out. For more information on adoption, visit us at Adoption Choices of Florida or call us at: 800-985-8108