One of the biggest misconceptions that exists about adoption is that the mother is “giving up” her child and “giving up” on her ability to raise one. The problem with this is that it is wrong, and women are forever burdened by the guilt that such negative rhetoric carries. It’s time to put such falsities to rest…
Choosing adoption is being selfless
Contrary to harsh criticism, such as it is selfish to think about your own life instead of theirs, the opposite is in fact true. It is entirely selfless to understand that you may not be the best caregiver your child deserves or simply loving the very idea of the child you bear so much that you cannot comprehend a practicable life for them in a home that cannot provide them with the future they deserve. Wanting to do right by them is as selfless as a biological parent can get, because it’s important to remember that not everyone is qualified to be a fulltime parent.
Choosing adoption is working on yourself and your goals
Instead of giving up on your child or your own self, you are providing both of you with the opportunity to grow with fewer obstacles. Hurting your own future along with risking your child’s would be more like giving up on both parties involved than signing up for adoption can ever hope to be. The true definition of “giving up” does not entail a successful and considerate future devoid of poverty for the child you obviously care very much about, even if only subconsciously.
Choosing adoption is not really giving up at all
Opting for an open adoption makes the opposing argument for this debate crumble on its foundations. In a situation where you have lifelong access to your child and constant information and reassurance that they are safe and happy, means that you know you made the right choice by finding an option to defeat all possible demons in a battle where losing was an option, but giving up wasn’t.
Today’s adoptions are considerably different than those from the mid-1900s and even those from the 1980s. Gone are the days when a woman simply handed her baby over to an adoptive family, never to see or hear from them again and never knowing how her child grew or how much her child was loved.Today’s birth mothers, with an open adoption, see first hand how their baby grows up though pictures, letters and sometimes even visits and phone calls.
And finally, women not only choose adoption, but they also choose the life they imagine for their baby. From family pets and holiday traditions to values and education, a woman chooses a family for her baby that fits all of the hopes and dreams she has for her child.
Rather than “giving up” their babies, these women do quite the opposite: they place their babies into the arms of eternally grateful, loving families that will spend their days appreciating the gift that a special woman gave them.